The other day in our disciple meeting we were reading Luke 7:46-49 and wow was that a bit of a reality check. For the last 7-10 days it's been crazier than norm. Getting in my time with him just didn't always happen. Sounds normal right? Just another thing on the to do list that I had good intentions for, but it didn't happen. As we were reading that I just had a gut check🌟
Monday night I HAD the time for devotions and to connect with him, but instead I was selfish and wanted a little me time to chill out, relax...and turned on the tv instead.
I chose tv over God.
It hit me, I've been telling myself I'm too tired or busy quite a bit and it's becoming a habit...too busy for our creator.🙈 The one who created ME, who knows every tiny detail of me, who has so much he wants to share with me, who loves me unconditionally, but I chose to spend my time elsewhere :/ He's the one that restores my soul, who gives me strength, and yet I wasn't being consistent with him and wondering why my anxiety was creeping up.
I was forever that person that would pray for guidance and then when he would answer say "Oh no that, that's to hard" and ignore his desires for me, I was already overwhelmed and that would set me over the edge. Praying for something different, as if he was some magic 8 ball I could shake and get a new answer, one that was easier.
My journey this year with him has been about obedience. I want to say no, no to more things, more to be outgoing, no to sharing in person, online, doing THIS! I want to be a hermit and go back to hiding in my cave where no one can judge me, see me, or hurt me...but that's not the life he's been leading me to live. He wants me OUT there, sharing him his <3 and word with others. Through it all he's been consistent.
He's given me the strength and courage to share...bc I couldn't even do it on my own even still. I couldn't lead people or help them to change their lives, but HE gives me all that I need to help them. When I take on things he's asking me to, I have NO idea how its going to work out, and thats SCARY for an OCD person like me, I want the ENTIRE plan start to finish up before committing, but I'm learning, he knows. I need only trust him. Has he ever failed me?💕 Nope! But man its scary and HARD getting rid of those selfish desires and putting him first, even for me.
I encourage you to be brave if he's putting something in your heart that might go against your introverted ways. Trust that he will give you the strength, courage, and bravery that you need.
He has a plan for you...will you let him lead?
“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” - Luke 7:46-49